Title: Opportunity Costs and Scientology
Author: "Elizabeth Ann Cox" <elizanncox@chesapeake.net>
Date: Fri, 14 Jan 2000 00:50:44 -0500

Essentially, this post is slanted towards a specific group of individuals.
It is slanted towards those folks who are still members of the cult.  It is
my fervent hope that by sharing part of what I felt, during those periods of
doubt and questioning, that may understand better some of what you may be
feeling regarding your continued involvement.

Recently, I have thought a great deal regarding my involvement with the
cult.  I question myself because I had every reason to avoid scientology.
Instead, I became a member.  Why?   Because I was in love at the time, and I
remained for that reason.  Now, that love has evaporated, the man is gone,
and I am still here. I have my life back.  I managed to maintain my friends
and my sanity, albeit some days shaky. I was lucky, I got out -- thank you
again, Mr. Lerma.

I think about the many who remain, and I wonder how they arrived at the
doorstep of the cult. I know you are still indoctrinated, but I wonder what
your doubts may be.  I know you are told the doubts are your own, that it is
your fault, that your are out-ethics, or associated with a suppressive.
That source is always accurate, it is you who is in violation of codes and
practices.

Flunk!  Doubt is not a crime, rather, it is a reasoned response to the
impossible situation in which you find yourself.  The ethics of the real
world have nothing in common with scientology ethics.  You might find that
folks out here are reasonable, rationale and forgiving.

You have been told that the wog world is a bad place.  A place to be
avoided, shunned, not to be viewed or confronted lest enturbulation occur.
Again, that is not true.  Its a wonderful world. It is not the maligned,
hideous, horrid place Hubbard led you to believe.  Actually, you will find
you'll like it here.  There is real freedom.  The freedom to think with
worrying if the e-meter will pick up your thoughts, the freedom to speak
without someone writing a KR on you.  The freedom to come and go as you
please. To have friends from all walks of life, and the enrichment and
varied perspectives that brings.  Do not fear, there are many of us who are
former members who will be only to happy to help you establish a real life
for yourself.

You have been told you are saving the planet.  You are not!  Despite
societal problems, which albeit do exist, the planet is just fine thank you.
It moves along daily without the intervention of scientology.  The real
world neither needs nor desires the surrealistic nightmare that is
scientology and scientology ethics.  Frankly, folks in the real world view
it simply as one of those fringe groups that hover on the outskirts of
society.  Strange, but manageable.

For those of you who have doubts, and I believe there are many more of you
than scino management would like to believe, I know you have problems
sleeping.  I know that in the middle of the night you dwell upon these
thoughts, these doubts.  You worry about what you have seen, the pain caused
to others, the disconnection's, the regging, the ethics handlings, and for
those of you in the Sea Org, the knowledge of the RPF and what it does to
your friends and loved ones.  These kernels of knowledge are the demons of
doubt that gnaw at your conscious.  Therein are those seeds planted.  Seeds
are interesting items, when exposed to sunlight, they grow, expand.  And
sunlight will eventually find its way it; and that small vine of doubt will
expand.

I know the hold scientology has on your.  I know you joined for all the
right reasons, and I know that you are frequently made wrong.  Again, the
fault is not yours, it is theirs.  I know how insidious are their tentacles.
I know that you have questioned all you believed when you joined, and I
recognize that here you are, alone, frightened, and confused, and once again
you are plagued with self-doubt.  Stop!  Yes, stop doubting what you are
feeling.  I know what it is like to wake up in the middle of the night
confused, wretched and anguished.  You wonder what is wrong with your mind,
what is wrong with you, that perhaps you falling apart, even insane.  You
even wonder if other notice.

Flunk. Go back to source, yourself.  Do not rely on Hubbard source, which is
phony.  Go back to yourself, the true source. Therein lies the truth.  See,
you really are special.  Hubbard was right when he said you really are much
more than you think you are or can ever be. But there is a difference.
Hubbard simply wanted to exploit you to his own ends, your goal is to
develop yourself to reach your full potential.  You have the power within
yourself to be all you want to be, all you want to accomplish.  You are
source.  Reclaim yourself, leave the cult.

There are many places you can go to seek help.  Look to the internet.  In
Clearwater, look to the LMT.  We are not hard to find, nor difficult to
contact.  We will be here for you.  See, we know you are not stupid.  We
recognize your abilities, your intellect, and your good intentions.  Those
of us who are ex-members truly know what you are experiencing.

You see, I know how easy it is to succumb to the lure of a cult.  I know,
because I did.  I succumbed despite having known better.  Why should I have
known better?  Simply this.  I was an award winning consumer affairs
specialist at the largest membership organization in the world.  And in the
end I still became involved.  Despite the knowledge of consumer frauds,
despite the education, despite political background, despite what I had
read, I still became involved.  Does that fact stagger your imagination?
Good, because it still boggles mine.

Bunnyann